If your doctor told you that you needed to stop smoking, stop drinking, eat better, reduce your stress, and get more sleep or that you would die within a short period of time…
Could you change?
Would you change?
The pundits say no… you can’t change.
And they have some startling facts to back them up.
Over 90% of the people in a similar situation were not able to change their lifestyle over a sustained period of time.
These are pretty depressing statistics. If change is so hard, should we all give up? Should I close this blog down and stop writing about personal development? With statistics like these we might as well all grab a donut, turn on the TV, and watch reruns all day.
Yet there is a startling fact that 10% of the people surveyed were able to change their lifestyle, and sustain those changes for years.
What is the difference between the two groups?
In his groundbreaking new book, Change or Die, author Alan Deutschman explains that the difference is as simple as three F’s and three R’s.
He explains that when most people want to change they rely on the three F’s. They are…
Facts: The black & white reasons for change.
Fear: If we don’t change here are the consequences.
Force: Just do it
While the three F’s can result in short term change, old habits usually take over within a short period of time. As much as we know the facts and are motivated by the fear, we can only force ourselves so far.
In his research of the 10% group he came up with some startling conclusions. The people who were able to create lasting change in their lives relied almost exclusively on the three R’s. They are…
Relate: Relationships with a Coach, Mentor, or Support Group are key
Repeat: Practicing the new action or habit over and over
Reframe: Paint the picture of your life in a new frame
When I look at my life and the major changes that have taken place over the years, the three R’s are almost always present.
Here are some of my examples…
Toastmasters
Relate: A great support group. Always supportive and constructive.
Repeat: One speech after the other. Each one different.
Reframe: Has taken public speaking from fear to fun in my life.
Small Group at Church
Relate: Have built lasting relationships with church members and with God.
Repeat: We meet every week to worship, study, and pray for each other
Reframe: I realize that nothing is impossible through fellowship and prayer.
Weight Loss
Relate: Have been personally accountable with coaches and mentors
Repeat: Exercise, diet, & weight training on a daily basis.
Reframe: Realize I can be successful like the people in the Body for Life book.
This book has really opened my eyes to what it actually takes to create lasting change. I have come to realize how important it is to have other people in my life and to make sure I have an accurate picture of the outcome I’m striving for.
Over the next few days we’ll take a look at how we can use the three R’s in goal setting, personal fitness, and time management. Change really is possible!
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